"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story."

Last week I had the privilege of not only seeing Jamie Tworkowski (founder of the non-profit To Write Love On Her Arms, which is an organization that I believe in very strongly) speak at the NACA (National Association of Campus Activities) 2011 National Conference.

To hear Jamie speak was amazing. There were a few other lecturers before him. The program had the list of speakers, and when I first saw that Jamie would be speaking I was in awe and unbelievably excited; I'd wanted to see him speak for a long time. I got to the theater a few minutes early and was able to sit in the front row, right in the center.

Finally, the MC introduced him, and after a video about To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA), Jamie came on stage. I can't even express in words how moving his speech was to me. Jamie spoke words of pain- he told the story of Renee Yohe, the inspiration for TWLOHA, and her story is very painful at times- but he also spoke words of hope- that Renee got help, and that TWLOHA exists to show people that they are not alone and that their story is important.

Depression, addiction, suicide, self-injury, anxiety, and eating disorders are all real; the illness may be mental, but the fact that it's inside your head doesn't make it any less real (as I write this, I'm reminded of the end of the "King's Cross" chapter in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows). But while pain is real, it's also true that hope is real, and that help is out there.

After Jamie left the stage, the girl sitting behind me starting saying to the person next to her that, essentially, poor people don't get depressed (they "don't have time", because they're "too busy looking for a job"), and depression is something that only happens to rich people (since they "have time to sit around and be depressed"). This made me angry pretty quickly, because it's completely and 100% wrong. So I turned around and told her that to say that any group of people- poor people, rich people, black, white, Indian, Asian, Jewish, Christian, or any specific minority or majority group- is not affected by depression is complete bullshit. Depression affects everyone, and it comes down to a chemical imbalance in your brain; while there are other factors that affect depression, nobody chooses to be depressed.

Not long after that, while waiting in line for lunch (the line was really long) with my group, a few of us were discussing how much we had liked hearing Jamie speak and that we'd love to bring him to campus (we all spread out and sat it different parts of the theater)- when I saw him standing right there, taking pictures with a few other girls. I debated for a few minutes whether I wanted to go up to him (I knew I'd be able to meet him at the marketplace later), but eventually decided that I really wanted to, so I did. There wasn't much time to talk, but I told him that I had the shirt from the Jarrod Gorbel tour, though I wasn't wearing it that day (he thought that was pretty cool, since not a lot of people had that shirt yet- it's still pretty new). He also recognized my shirt as Angels & Airwaves. I was shaking a little bit (not visibly), out of pure excitement and happiness- TWLOHA is such an important organization to me and I really can't even explain in words how much it meant to actually meet Jamie- and after I got a quick picture with him (which is now my Facebook profile picture), he had to go.

Later in the day, the rest of my group went to dinner, but I decided to stay and go to the marketplace. I was near the front of the line, and ended up being the first person to talk to Jamie! This time, I was really shaking, because I had so much to say (I'd written down what I wanted to say on a piece of paper). I could've just said I liked his speech, but I had a lot more that I could say so I decided to just say it, since I knew I wouldn't regret it. I could feel my voice shaking as I told him that I thought what TWLOHA is doing is really cool, and then I realized I was about to cry- I told him this, and he said  that crying is okay.

That relaxed me a little, and I felt okay when the tears started coming (it was a lot more sudden than I had thought!). I told Jamie that I connected with TWLOHA, but that it frustrated me so much when people were ignorant of these issues- like the girl sitting behind me in the showcase. He said that often, those people don't understand because they've never experienced a mental illness, but sometimes it ends up happening to them too. I told him that before I had experienced any sort of mental illness, I never really understood what it meant, but that now I did, and that's why I care so much.

When I was done saying what I had to say, I asked Jamie for a hug (he's nearly a foot taller than me, by the way). He said that hugs were easy, and smiled as he gave me one. To meet someone that is such a hero to me- and to actually be able to say more than just a few words- was amazing. He was really listening, too, and I could hear caring in his voice and saw concern in his face. Jamie Tworkowski was one of the nicest people I've ever met- it was refreshing to meet someone like that. After meeting Jamie, I got a free (!) TWLOHA shirt from the booth ("Ring the Bells"- check it out in their store here), which is pretty cool in its own right.

There were other cool parts of the NACA conference- like meeting B.J. Novak (the Office), meeting two guys from The Onion, meeting Hanson (which I did right after I talked to Jamie), seeing (and getting to meet!) so many awesome bands and comedians, getting to hang out with people from the programming board, not going to school, getting to explore St. Louis a little bit, learning about how to program events, getting tons of free stuff, and improving on my leadership skills- but for me, seeing and meeting Jamie Tworkowski was the highlight. I thought about just being social, and going to dinner with my group, but I knew that I would regret it if I didn't get to actually talk to Jamie, and I'm glad I chose the way I did.