Movin' On- Hope (Part 2/16)- 3/28/11

(This blog is the second of sixteen, all inspired by a word featured in the chorus of Good Charlotte's song "Movin' On". It's one of my favorite songs, and I think it's really meaningful, which is why I was inspired to write this series.)

"It Gets Better Than You Know"

Depression is scary. When you are depressed, the entire world seems black. Just going through the motions of life can be painful, and it seems like it will never get better. The future seems like a black hole: life will always be painful, and any wishes or dreams that you had aren't possible. Depression is hopelessness. What is so painful about depression is not the fact that you are hurting, it is that you are unable to feel that anything will ever get better.

That's why hope is so important. If you find hope, through whatever means,then you can get through some pretty rough times. Hope is that light at the end of the tunnel. It is knowing that things will get better; that some day, there will be less pain and that you will feel like yourself again. It is seeing the possibility of the future and what can happen.

I found that hope through music. There were lots of songs that stuck out to me, over others, in terms of how much I connected to them and how much they meant to me. I had a playlist on my iPod of these songs, which I burned to 2 CDs (my iPod at the time was pretty faulty, and the playlist was too long to fit on one CD). I would listen to music all the time- while waiting for the school bus in the morning, on the bus to school, during my free periods, on the bus or car ride home, while doing homework, and while falling asleep at night. I almost always fell asleep to the same two songs. Somehow, through music, I was able to realize that I was not alone, and a part of me- it was a pretty small part at first, but it was there!- knew, just knew, that things would get better. Through music, I was able to find hope.

There is one particular instance that sticks out in my mind. I was sitting at my computer, watching the music video for one of the two songs that I mentioned before, and I broke down. The video connected with something in me, and after watching it, I was able to recognize that I wasn't the only one who had dealt with what I was going through and that it was possible to feel better. I knew that as dark as life was and as much pain as I was in, things would, someday, get better.

(I was right- they did.)